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How Come Your Conflict Resolution Training Keeps Failing: A Brutal Truth
This Dispute Management Myth That's Undermining Your Organization: How "Win-Win" Solutions Usually Generate More Conflicts Than They Resolve
Let me ready to challenge one of the greatest cherished beliefs in contemporary conflict resolution training: the idea that all workplace dispute can and should be settled through "collaborative" approaches.
That thinking appears sophisticated and caring, but following nearly two decades of consulting in conflict resolution, I can tell you it's usually total nonsense that generates more issues than it solves.
Here's the core issue with the "win-win" mindset: it presupposes that each conflicts involve relationship issues or opposing desires that can be creatively aligned if parties just communicate enough.
With reality, many business disputes involve legitimate, irreconcilable differences in values, real competition for scarce resources, or circumstances where certain people actually needs to prevail and another party must to concede.
We worked with a major advertising firm where the artistic department and the account management group were in ongoing tension about client work direction.
Creative people insisted on to produce innovative, award-winning work that would enhance their creative reputation. Client services teams needed campaigns that would please conservative clients and maintain ongoing business contracts.
Either teams had completely legitimate concerns. Each positions were essential for the firm's survival.
Leadership consulted a team of organizational development experts who dedicated weeks leading "joint problem-solving" meetings.
These workshops produced detailed "win-win" solutions that looked impressive on in theory but were totally impractical in actual implementation.
For example, they developed approaches where every campaign would magically combine "innovative excellence" with "account satisfaction." These experts created detailed evaluation processes and approval committees meant to ensure that all parties' priorities were addressed.
The consequence: decision-making processes that took much longer than originally, creative work that was mediocre to the extent of being bland, and clients who were dissatisfied by unclear messaging about campaign approach.
All departments were even more unhappy than initially because no one was getting what they actually required to do their roles effectively.
When 180 days of this failure, I persuaded executives to eliminate the "mutual benefit" strategy and establish what I call "Strategic Choice Setting."
Instead of trying to act like that each project could at the same time satisfy competing objectives, they established definite guidelines for determining when innovative innovation would receive priority and when customer satisfaction would be the main focus.
With high-profile customers where the firm sought to maintain established contracts, account satisfaction would get focus.
Regarding smaller accounts or community work, artistic people would have increased autonomy to develop experimental approaches.
Regarding prospective award entries, innovative innovation would be the main objective.
All departments were clear about specifically what the priorities were for every project, what factors would influence direction, and what trade-offs were being chosen.
Disagreement between the groups virtually ended. All teams could concentrate on excelling at what they did most effectively rather than continuously fighting about direction.
Client happiness increased because client services staff could clearly explain campaign direction and expectations. Creative innovation improved on designated accounts because artistic teams were given clear freedom to create cutting-edge concepts.
This lesson: working to create "mutually beneficial" approaches for fundamentally opposing interests usually ends up in "compromise" outcomes where no one gets what they genuinely need.
Better to be transparent about priorities and make conscious, well-informed selections about when competing objectives will get priority.
Let me share one more case of how the "mutual benefit" fixation causes dysfunction. I worked with a technology development company where lead programmers and entry-level team members were in ongoing tension about task allocation.
Experienced programmers preferred concentrating on complex, important assignments that would enhance their careers and boost their professional standing.
Entry-level developers needed access to complex assignments to build their skills and advance their careers.
Limited quantities of high-profile assignments meant that providing more assignments to junior employees automatically meant fewer opportunities for senior staff.
Leadership hired mediation specialists who dedicated months attempting to find "innovative" solutions that would theoretically fulfill all parties' development goals.
The consultants created elaborate systems for "shared assignment ownership," "coaching relationships," and "knowledge development opportunities."
Zero of these approaches resolved the fundamental reality: there were simply not adequate challenging assignments for each person to get everything they needed.
This outcome: increased confusion in project management, delayed project planning, and continued conflict from both sides.
We assisted them create a straightforward, skills-based system for assignment allocation:
Senior positions on high-profile projects would be allocated based on proven competence and track record
Entry-level team members would be assigned planned development assignments intended to develop their skills progressively
Transparent standards and timelines were created for career progression from junior to advanced positions
Each staff were clear about specifically what they had to achieve to qualify for different types of work opportunities
Disagreement within experience groups virtually disappeared. Entry-level team members managed to focus on reaching clear development goals rather than arguing for limited assignments. Experienced developers managed to concentrate on complex work without constantly protecting their right to these projects.
Output and results improved substantially across all performance levels.
That lesson: clear, merit-based competition usually produces better solutions than artificial "win-win" solutions that attempt to prevent necessary trade-offs.
Currently let's address probably the most harmful aspect of the "mutual benefit" obsession: how it protects toxic behavior and sabotages workplace standards.
We consulted with a municipal organization where certain unit was regularly missing performance standards, producing inadequate results, and creating issues for related teams that relied on their work.
Once affected departments complained about these quality issues, management automatically reacted by organizing "collaborative dialogue" sessions to find "compromise" solutions.
These meetings would consistently end up in complex "workflow adjustments" that fundamentally required productive departments to accommodate the inadequate work of the problematic unit.
As an illustration, rather than expecting the problematic department to meet normal timelines, the "mutual benefit" approach would be to extend every work schedules to work around their poor performance.
In place of requiring them to fix their standards levels, affected units would be expected to provide additional checking, assistance, and corrections to compensate for their poor output.
This arrangement was extremely inequitable to high-performing departments and systematically enabled inadequate work.
Worse, it caused anger and cynicism among productive employees who sensed that their extra contributions was being taken for granted while poor employees were being shielded from responsibility.
We helped administration to eliminate the "win-win" approach and establish honest standards systems.
They implemented clear quality expectations for every departments, with clear accountability measures for repeated inability to achieve these standards.
Their failing team was given clear support and a reasonable timeframe to fix their performance. Once they refused to achieve the necessary expectations, appropriate personnel decisions were implemented.
Their improvement was remarkable. Total efficiency rose dramatically, interdepartmental disputes decreased, and employee morale for high employees got better significantly.
That point: true "win-win" results come from enforcing fair standards for each person, not from reducing requirements to enable poor work.
Let me share what I've learned after extensive experience of observing businesses struggle with misguided "collaborative" obsessions:
Effective issue management needs managers who are willing to make unpopular choices, set clear expectations, and acknowledge that never all parties can get everything they desire.
Sometimes the best outcome is for certain people to get what they need and someone else to compromise significantly. Often the right outcome is to get rid of individuals who are refusing to perform productively within established standards.
And often the best approach is to accept that specific conflicts reflect fundamental oppositions in values that should not be bridged through conversation.
Quit attempting to manufacture "collaborative" outcomes where they don't exist. Focus on creating workplaces with clear standards, equitable enforcement, and the leadership to make necessary choices when dialogue-based efforts aren't sufficient.
The business - and your highest performing staff - deserve no accommodation.
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Website: https://planningfortimeperth.bigcartel.com/product/workplace-emergency
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